If your ideal way to pick a mate is to pit them against other males in a game of dodge ball while wearing inappropriately short shorts, then you’re really going to love this episode of The Bachelorette! Here we go!
The episode starts with a group date with Des and 10 guys including Ben – the guy who has been getting the most heat from all the other guys for being fake.
The guys are excited to find out that their group date will entail them playing dodge ball against “professionals.” Which I personally didn’t know was a thing, but they are apparently very serious about their “sport.”
Des says she likes this date idea because it shows the guys “in their natural state”, “competing for something”, and “fighting for what they want.” All’s fair in love and dodge ball, I guess.
The guys are split up into two groups to fight for a chance to stay on the date with a public dodge ball match. One beau exclaims, “This isn’t your grandfather’s dodge ball.” Your grandpa probably fought in Korea dude, he would not be psyched about you playing dodge ball in a tank top in front of millions of people. Just sayin’.
Brooks, from squealing with fear at being in the “ghetto” fame, ups his masculinity by breaking his finger during the third game and lying on the ground writing in pain.
Ultimately, the blue team wins but Des decides to take both teams on the rest of the date. Brooks shows up hours later at the date still in his uniform all bandaged up and gets a ton of attention from Des.
Chris gets the group date rose and Des steals him off for a private concert, a romantic dance, and some kissing while the jealous guys watch from afar. Chris enters his hat into the Bachelorette drinking game, calling the moment “like a fairy tale.”
Big drama unfolds in the Bachelorette mansion when Des gets a call telling her that one of the guys has been lying about something. She storms over to the guys’ house to confront him. It turns out the guy in question is Brian who Des takes outside to try to get him to confess. Meanwhile, Chris (the host) shows up with Brian’s girlfriend. As one of the guys in the house yells out, “Sh** just got real!” After a huge confrontation between Brian and his supposed girlfriend, Des kicks Brian off the show.
If watching that for half an hour doesn’t set a romantic mood for Casey and Des’ one-on-one date, I don’t know what will! Their date turns out to be them dancing on the side of a building. Ironically, Casey just admitted to the guys the day before that he’s scared of heights. Coincidence? Des adds to the already romantic mood once they are safely on the ground by telling him, “I think I peed my pants.” Sexy Des, sexy.
Their disastrous date gets worse during their horribly windy outside dinner. They decide to escape the wind by jumping in the pool that they then discover is freezing cold. Casey attempts to salvage the date by kissing her in the freezing pool. His positive attitude earns him a rose at the end of the worst Bachelorette date ever.
The next day, Des takes the guys on a group date where they dress up and perform stunts from western movies. The guy that does the best in his scene wins alone time with Des. Juan Pablo who did his entire scene in Spanish, won the lone ranger badge and stole Des off for some alone time. The group date ends like they add do, with a cocktail party and separate one-on-one times with Des and each guy.
The next day, Des cancels the cocktail party that normally takes place before the rose ceremony opting instead for a casual pool party AKA an excuse to see all the dudes shirtless. Ben enrages all the other guys by stealing Des away for a secret car ride before she walks into the pool party. After Ben lies to a couple of the guys about having stolen Des away, Mikey pulls him aside to confront him telling the camera he may need to get physical to “hammer in the point.”
In his one-on-one time with Des, Brandon ends up being the first guy of the season to drop the L-bomb telling the camera that Des “consumes his mind.” At the rose ceremony, Des breaks into tears as she sends home Dan (who I don’t remember seeing up until this point) and of course L-bomb himself – Brandon. Brandon tells her she’s making a huge mistake and cries as she tries to explain to him why he’s going home. He ends the episode with the most depressing quote of the season so far, “Once again, someone leaves me. Once again. Way to go Brandon.” Yikes buddy. Someone pass this guy a cocktail and a hug.
Next week, Des and the guys travel to Atlantic City where the guys compete in a Mr. America Pageant and the everyone hates on Ben some more.
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