Previously on The Bachelorette, Desiree met her guys, kicked the creepiest one to the curb before the rose ceremony, called the show a dream come true about a million times, and gave an early rose to a guy who didn’t wear a shirt the whole episode.

Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful season to me.

On the second episode, Des gets to start going on dates with her potential husbands.  The episode starts with a one-on-one date with Brooks who celebrates with “arm pumps” and describes Des as a “ball of mystery.”

Des talks about her excitement for the date and refers to herself as a princess within the first minute and a half of this episode.  I smell a new drinking game idea here people…

Des takes Brooks to a wedding dress shop where they try on bridal attire.  Normal first date stuff right?

They leave the shop dressed as bride and groom, pick out some cupcakes for their “wedding cake,” and drive up to the Hollywood sign for a picnic.

All I can think about is the fact that she’s dragging that wedding dress in the dirt; it stresses me out!  She however, of course, calls it a fairy tale.  Des and Brooks share their first kiss on top of the Hollywood sign and Des calls it a moment she will never forget.  You know, until she makes out with the next guy tomorrow.

Des and Brooks get lost in what Brooks describes as a “shady area” filled with graffiti.  Brooks acts like he may wet his pants when Des convinces him to drive down a blocked street which ends up leading them to a romantic dinner set up at the end of a bridge.

To add to his manly behavior for the night, Brooks breaks into tears when recounting his parent’s divorce and absentee father.  All I can think about during his tearful moment is how no one on this show ever eats their fancy dinners.  Maybe that’s how these women stay so thin?

The next day, Des takes 14 of the guys on a group date where they film a rap video for Soulja Boy.  If I ever wanted to find the perfect man for me and connect with him romantically, watching him awkwardly try to rap and dance would definitely be the way I’d do it.  Right?  They start the date by making these super white boys rap in front of everyone including Des and Soulja Boy.   Awkward does not begin to describe this situation.

Brandon takes the cake on this date by choosing an outfit that doesn’t include pants, purposefully stretching in front of the other guys, and then chastising them by saying, “I see you lookin’ at me bro.”  I’m calling dream boat on this one!  The guys are assigned raps based on famous past Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants while Des walks around each one dressed sexily and bobbing along to their phat beats.

After their video wraps, Des and the guys hang around outside having cocktails and one-on-one talks.  Zach W or ‘shirtless guy’ gifts Des with an antique journal to make up for his being a “buffoon” the first night.

The guys battle over one-on-one time with Des and crown Ben their first “I’m not sure if he’s here for the right reasons guy.”

To further infuriate the guys, Ben makes his move and kisses Des while Brandon emotionally looks on.  Brandon later opens up to Des about his troubled family and tells the camera that he has fallen “in like” with Des.

The next day, Bryden and Des go out for the last one-on-one date of the week.  Their date starts with a road trip around California.  They stop at the beach, grab some fish tacos, play around in an orange grove, and end up in Ojai for a candle lit dinner.  Bryden sets the romantic scene by showing Des pictures of him after a devastating car wreck.  They make awkward small talk in the hot tub until Des finally shouts out, “Just kiss me already” leading to the first hot tub make out session of the season (there is always, always more than one).

At the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party, Michael G. tells Des what he builds up as a HUGE secret – he has diabetes.  During this oh-so dramatic confession, Ben (who already has a rose from the group date) interrupts and steals Des away setting off the tempers of all the other guys.  Tension gets thick; guys confront Ben and then spend the rest of the cocktail party trash talking him and his intentions. 

At the rose ceremony, Des sends home Will, who laments putting himself too far into the “friend zone,”  Robert,  who calls having to leave the show a “nightmare”, and Nick M. who calls the rejection shocking and heartbreaking.  Next week, the Ben drama gets bigger, someone ends up in the hospital, and one of the guy’s girlfriends shows up in tears.